


missing you comes in waves, and tonight i'm drowning

by missillusional



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: M/M, go to my tumblr to find the twine/semi-interactive version of this same story!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-15 07:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12316689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missillusional/pseuds/missillusional
Summary: After GCU's disappointing run in the qualifiers, Madlife remembers a happier time.





	missing you comes in waves, and tonight i'm drowning

Min-gi Hong sighed. He’d been doing that a lot lately. The flickering green light on his alarm clock told him he’d been up for 5 hours now, and it didn’t look like he’d be getting any sleep any time soon. He reluctantly swung his legs over the bunk bed he shared with fellow support “Whyin”, and carefully climbed down, not wanting to wake his teammate who was lucky enough to fall into a deep slumber. In pitch black, he maneuvered his way to the kitchen, bumping into walls and tables along the way. He cursed himself for living here for so long, yet still feeling like a stranger in the surroundings. It’s not like he expected anything else though, after all, he only ever felt at home in the arms of-

Stop it, he thought to himself, not tonight. He clumsily found the light switch and stood blinking in front of the sink. After a few seconds, he managed to pour himself a drink of cold water. As he took in the water greedily, he realized he felt fully sober for the first time today after they lost to EUnited. Not that he had drank anything even remotely alcoholic, but he had no need to, he already felt inebriated enough. The afternoon whipped by in a blur of melancholy voices and dejection and he didn’t ever get a chance to stop and just think. It was here, at the kitchen sink, in a house he didn’t want to be in a second longer, with people he didn’t want to ever see again, that the legendary Madlife sank down to the floor and buried his face in his hands.

How did it get to this? He wondered. He was a legend once, renowned and feared for his mastery of support, an innovator of his time. Now, he was nothing. A former LCK player who couldn’t even beat the worst teams in NA. He was washed up. Fallen from grace. Just some random Korean. Whatever words anyone wanted to use to describe him, he accepted it in stride. He knew that whatever happened to him was his fault and his fault alone. Every day he cursed himself for not being good enough. Whenever someone asked him what he missed about the LCK, about the glory of the old CJ days, he always responded that it was the success of the team that kept him going. Like any player, he wanted to win, but those close to him, saw straight through his lie. He missed winning for sure, and the thrill of competition, but what he missed most was something he’d never admit to anyone else, not even to himself most of the time. Seeing however, that he was currently drowning in his own solitary and awake at 4 am, the hours of the day where evening blurred into morning, he felt loosed of his inhibitions and gave in to what he wanted to say out loud for the past 3 years.

“I miss seeing Doublelift.”

It came out as a whisper, and even so, he instinctively clapped his hand over his mouth after the treacherous words came out. No one had to tell him his feelings were absurd, because after all, he knew it himself.

“I’m in love with _Peter_.”

Saying his real name the second time felt better, more confident, like a huge weight had lifting from his heart, something he’d been keeping locked up inside for a long time. After all, he was never one known for showing much emotion. Riding the high, he was prepared to confirm it to himself a third time when he felt a chill running up his outer thigh. Startled for a second, he pulled out his phone, still bright with the notification that Yiliang Peng had posted a new tweet. It was a picture of Peter smiling with his arm around Biofrost. Madlife couldn’t tear his eyes away no matter how much he wanted to. Seeing Peter’s trademark smile, subtle but playful, never giving anything away, ripped Madlife away from the present and threw him back to a simpler time.

* * *

It was All-Stars 2014, and Doublelift and Madlife were sitting cross-legged under the stars, and joking about their “devastating” loss to Bjergsen and Diamond in the 2v2. Okay, well, it was mostly Doublelift joking but Madlife laughed like he understood all of his jokes anyways even though he only caught bits and pieces. In fact, Min-gi was concentrating so hard to comprehend what Doublelift was speaking to him that he almost missed the fact that Doublelift’s lips were on his. He blinked in confusion, cursing himself for having stunning reaction time in the game, but almost none in real life. In his naturally awkward way, he made a muffled noise of surprise, spouting some incomprehensible Korean, before leaning forward almost unconsciously, pressing himself against Peter’s body.

He felt a pair of hands snake around his waist, pulling him even closer, and like a bolt of lightning, he was left jolted to his core, in stark realization of what was currently happening. He also managed to realize he was not kissing Doublelift back, which he resolved to fix right away, by gently pushing his own lips against his partner’s. He felt Peter run his tongue along his lower lip, and before long, their tongues were in a hopeless knot, exploring every corner of each other’s mouths and not missing one single inch. Peter’s hands were dug deep into Min-gi’s hair, grasping on strands of hair, pressing the two of them as close as humanly possible.

After an immeasurable amount of time, Madlife felt his head get so light he swore he was going to pass out, and with heavy longing, he ever so slowly pulled away from Doublelift until their lips were no longer touching, but their faces were still only a few inches apart. He felt Peter panting quick, hot breaths with eyes still dark and emboldened with passion. He wasn’t sure how his own eyes looked, but he couldn’t have hidden his expressions even if he tried. Working through the whirlwind of chaos clouding his thoughts, Madlife reflected that he didn’t know many things at the moment, like what team he would be on the next year, where Peter would be in a week, hell, he didn’t even know if the sun would rise the next morning. But what he did know was that he wanted this boy in front of him. Badly.

* * *

Pulling himself out of the memory, Madlife didn’t want to keep remembering what had happened after that night. Someone once told him he shouldn’t linger on the past because he couldn’t change it anyway, but honestly that sounded like some bullshit from a self-help book. But maybe self-help was exactly what he needed right now, because after all, he was an addict and Peter was his drug of choice.

Glancing again at the time, he knew he would have to get some rest soon in preparation for his last team meeting tomorrow before they all inevitably went their separate ways like everyone else in his life. Trailing slowly back to his room, he crawled into bed, and pulled the covers over his head. He fell asleep with his phone still open, and with the picture of Doublelift glowing bright in the dark, gloomy night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and for putting up with my infrequent post times. Much love! <3
> 
> Here is the link that I referred to in my tags: http://philome.la/tweetsbyceline/missing-you-comes-in-waves-tonight-im-drowning/play
> 
> [LINK NOW FIXED]


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